Connecting With Older Child after the Birth of Newborn

Welcoming a new baby is a wonderful feeling, but it also brings its own kind of challenges. With your first baby, you might have struggled to handle this little creature, whereas, on your second child’s arrival, parents have an additional worry of the reaction, adjustment, or detachment of the older one at home. 

A newborn’s care requires a lot of effort, time, and constant attention to fulfill their needs. The continuous day and night striving makes both the parents exhausted, and little or no time is left to entertain your other child. This can develop hostility and resentment in older children towards their parents and/or feelings of jealousy for the newborn. 

To deal with these issues and problems, which can later cause long-term effects on the child’s personality, child psychologists refer to some tips and strategies to connect with your older child while not ignoring newborn needs.

Prepare them beforehand

The most beneficial step is to prepare your child mentally. This can be accomplished by telling stories of other babies or sharing their own stories and baby pictures with them. Engage them in the shopping of baby items and make them feel included. Tell them about the type of care and attention the baby needs and that the first few weeks can be hectic.  

Make them fascinate the thought of being the elder one.

Kids love to act as being elders and have some degree of authorization and liberation. Tell them the elder child is the role model for the younger ones and appreciate their good behavior by encouraging words “you are an amazing big brother,” etc. 

Make him part of things.

While taking care of your newborn or household duties, instead of saying “I have to do this,” say “we will do this.” “We” allows them to be a part of things that won’t make them outcaste. Ask for small favors such as pass me the tissue. 

Placing their drawings in the baby’s room is another way of telling them that they are appreciated and connect with their sibling by supervised gentle touch or singing lullabies together.

Touch.

A fundamental and key element is “the sense of touch.” No matter if it’s a grown-up or a toddler, a tender touch makes them feel wanted. Make some time to give them gentle warm cuddles, and make sure to sit and be on their eye level while you make conversations with them.

What if they still act out? 

The older one will try many steps; some of them might be showing tantrums or misbehaving. Here the parents need to access if the child is breaking the rules to get attention; this behavior should not be encouraged and strengthened by giving them attention nor be punished, making them even more distanced. Instead, the parents should explain to the elder child why the little one needs a lot of care and attention.