Using Positive Reinforcement with Your Toddler
Any parent raising a toddler knows how difficult it can be to maintain good discipline. When you least expect it, your child is likely to throw a tantrum while you feel helpless.
Timeouts might not have had a positive effect on your child’s behavior that you had hoped. It is not surprising because kids at that age can’t fully grasp the link between their actions and consequences.
Consider the words of Anne Sullivan: “Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.”
Toddlers learn a lot from observing and imitating.
You have a chance to be a positive role model. All you need to do is be patient with both your child and yourself.
Consider these alternatives to punishment for young children:
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Ask questions. Your child’s misbehavior is here for a reason. Even though toddlers are young, you can talk to them and offer to understand. We often incorrectly assume kids are doing something “bad” when, in fact, they are merely figuring out how something works.
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Seek answers. Ask: “What are you trying to do?” or “Why do you want to do this?” Listen and understand, then correct their behavior by offering the appropriate outlet or information.
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Take a break with your child. If you notice your child is having difficulty making choices you disapprove of, go to a quiet space together and take a break.
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Taking a break will prevent trouble, so it’s important to do this before things get out of hand. Five minutes of calm conversation, listening, sharing, and considering more appropriate choices for the situation can help.
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Give a second chance. A young child that makes a mistake doesn’t deserve punishment. They deserve an opportunity for a do-over.
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Let your toddler try to address the problem differently and change their behavior. State clearly what’s not allowed, offer a positive alternative, and ask if they are okay with it.
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Use a physical demonstration. Children learn from observation all the time. You are their role model, even when you aren’t aware of your behavior. So, ensure that you are a suitable model in critical situations.
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A toddler might not grasp the connection between their action and your words, but if you demonstrate desirable behavior, they’ll catch up.
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Give your child a heads-up. When you’re requesting specific behavior from your child, please give them a heads up. For example, instead of asking them to leave the playground at a moment’s notice, tell them you’ll be going in five minutes.
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A gentle reminder of what you’re expecting them to do is more useful than a punishment afterward.
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Read a story. Another creative way to help kids learn how to make better choices is through stories. Read or tell stories that include characters who make mistakes, have strong feelings, or need help. By associating with a character and the positive actions, it creates a relatable situation for the child.
Switching from punishment to positive reinforcement is the best thing you can do for your child’s mental health and further development. It does require patience and devotion, but it’s one of the best gifts you can give to your child.
